so i ran on my treadmill and my mom has been texting me like an asshole since like 830 am

yet she would have my head in a vice if i did the same to her.

she has one set of rules for her and another for me like im her subordinate

she expects respect and decency but doesnt give it

she is the one that sets the precedent of treatment in my family from everyone else as far as im concerned.

and thats the truth

she bitched for days about making me a cake for my birthday

well sort of ruins it dont it then?


and then she bitched about my step dad buying me vanilla ice cream to go with it which i had asked her for like two weeks in advance

you can eat what we have she says

well thanks for aiming to please ya bitch.

all the time it is like i dont deserve anything special new or just for me ever

she is very hateful and mean spirited towards me herself.

she has been forcing me to get a job lately pressing me with info on job fairs this and job fairs that

it is the equivalent of someone not accepting their child as gay; for who they are

she refuses to accept that i am disabled,and love and value me anyway

do you know how much that hurts?

you get those expectations for value from society in general

but to get it perpetually as a condition of their "love" and respect from your own? is absolutely soul crushing.

and it never subsides.

im sure he says it to her all the time; tell her to get a job so that she leaves us alone

mr attached to my mom with an umbilical cord.

so the cake? she puts the cheap dollar store crappy icing on it even tho i know for a fact

she has the betty crocker frosting down stairs

im not worth the trip downstairs

nor the best brand of anything.

i was quote "lucky i was even getting a cake".

feel the love.

stick it up your ass then if that is how you feel about it

thats her gotta ruin everything before or as it even happens yep that is my mom

the school boards here are hiring and i would love love love to get in even on call permanently

other people want more than that but that would be absolutely ideal for me.

work even once or twice a week maximum.

so then all my work at school and my skills wouldnt have been in vain or for not

but balanced enough i can go in when im well enough to and can handle it and do a magnificent job.

there is some video on the news about a fuckn piece of shit veterinarian that was abusing animals in his practice while the stupid vet techs and assistants did nothing they even held the animals while he was abusing them

ill tell you if someone treated my animal like that and i found out about it id kill them

yes i would and id go to jail for it.

or at least assault the shit out of them. within an inch of their lives.

how dare he. and then the fuckn corrupt ungoverned OVC does nothing but suspend his license for ten months and then he serves four of that thats it


He should be criminally charged for every account on the video which is about at least four or five

let alone all the others hes done

and he should be STRIPPED of his license IMMEDIATELY.

there is video evidence of the asscracker abusing animals and the OVC allows him to continue practicing at all? or even own animals?


absolutely an atrocity.

this only drives home the need for veterinarians to be governed by the provincial and federal governments.

theyve been ungoverned for far too long. the ovc is an independent body it is not legislated nor does it monitor its members conduct. OBVIOUSLY

Theres a petition to have his license revoked instead of merely suspended.  I hope the fucker is criminally charged. are you kidding me even. disgusting.


The vet techs and assistants that held the animals and or knew of this abuse and went along with and therefore participated in should be revoked of their designations as well and criminally charged as accessory literally.

CMON now.


shaking my head.

anyways i have to go buy cat food and working out with crazy train there. see how that goes go get aggravated for a couple hours right?

rolling my the pouring rain i might add.

ill take the bus over if it is too heavy ill determine that on my cat food run

i need cat cookies and raspberry jam too

ive lost about six pounds since my esmeralda died.

:( not like i havent been eating like a tank so go figure. and junk

or nothing at all tho that is the thing.

one extreme or the other since shes passed.

it has been brutally hard for me.

miss her like bananas.

hate the bed.

but exhausted at the same time.

i ran on my treadmill and i have no proper shoes right now so that is literally hard to do

and it reminds me of ezzy girl

on her last day with me i was on the tread that morning as she was uncomfortable with me all up on her when she was so ill in her last days. she didnt want a lot of cuddling etc for her discomfort. i did do it but i couldnt as much as i would have preferred because she didnt prefer it

she would come in the room when i was running and check on me. then go wait for me then check then wait.

she seemed so anxious in her last days

she knew she was going to pass

and i imagine too she was scared herself

it has to be pretty scary when you know you are dying or going to die.

the anxiety.

i think she felt afraid too of leaving me. both literally and figuratively

for herself and her own fears of passing nerves but she didnt want to leave me

that is how much she loved me

no one or anything else has ever or will ever love me

as she did me.


and my sister not acknowledging my bday especially via the kids is very hurtful too.

my brother is an ass is an ass is an ass. sort of like my dad

my sister is more like my mom

and intermittent head fuck around ass.

and i think that is worse.

ttyl bye. hope the sun comes out some.

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