so another door closes
someone else that i had held out feelings for bites the dust.
she posts on her facebook that she is no longer single.
like we couldnt see that coming a mile away.
explains a lot tho; she claims to be a humanitarian etc but the truth is
she would never 'want' someone that was disabled or not viable in the market or someone she could brag for "having' or get something for herself, from.
i sent her a halloween card in yearly tradition as i have the past eight years.
she refused it.
i sent her the boxing glove charm and chain
never heard from her.
sent her a sympathy flower for her dad. and she ignored me then too
i was just never good enough for her.
i totally know why people kill themselves.
when youve tried all avenues and nothing is working for you
nothing ever will work for you
and how is void living?
if you cant do the things you want with your life, how is that living.
it is existing.
and theres nothing wrong with that.
but there has to be more.
however im not able to have it.
so i cant say i blame her for moving on with someone that is incredible successful beautiful etc.
why wouldnt you why shouldnt you
i guess she gave up on me too
a long time ago i guess maybe i never gave up on her
but she had written me off and aimed to ruin my life more
some ten years ago.
my landlord came in today to fix my drain
the counsellor that is supposed to be helping me here
with counselling is working over time to get rid of me herself
they are trying to get a subsidy for another municipality
but i wont be able to go anyways until jan
that ive decided upon.
it is so hurtful when you feel you are not welcome and no one wants you or values you here.
thats the truth
but no one would ever hire me
there are kids there with no highschool diploma
that are worthy of a pay check
but not me.
so i am thinking over and out
dunno whats best for me anymore
without ezzy girl
i am totally lost
my mom has a surgery on thursday
she is all paranoid about it
anyways i have to go feed the cats it is a feed night tonight
ive been thoroughly enjoying the mild temps and sunshine.