even more

Well.

where to start?

so our new owner is such a bigoted douche bag and the ones before that, that i have never been provided with his contact information although all other tenants have been handed such. just not me; because im disabled, and so i can be completely and totally invalidated like im a non person even.

Are you even shitting me?

so if i have a repair that needs done or i need to terminate tenancy ? i just have no point of contact or reference? unacceptable. and im sure illegal as shit.

so when i leave ill contact my odsp worker only and he can go fuck himself, and the repairs ill contact the city and he too can go fuck himself for the accumulation of information on his dumpy building then.

just so bigoted i am just so sick of the violence either direct and overt or indirectly and covert i get in windsor.

i want the mother fuck OUT.

and so i wait. i applied to the one region i prefer for a rental subsidy to this market rental i found and the landlord is willing to accept a subsidy.

it is sound proof concrete mainly seniors in the building perfect location walking distance to amenities.

and the power tripping ass from the region? refuses my subsidy

so then i go back to waiting on the urgent list; that ive been sitting on for six months already.

then whatever cock roach infested crack house they offer first if you refuse it they put you back on the wait list for another five years literally; six years is the regular wait list.

shaking my head.

ive been researching other ideas etc and options but when you have limited resources yourself, how are you supposed to be able to move and then sustain yourself long term without the ability to earn?

which brings me to my topic of thought today

ways for me to earn on my own; side bar legitimate money

on the up and up taxable etc but on my own. using my own marketable skills and working for myself per say

today i went and volunteered for the windsor humane; and i clean at the petsmart locations in town for the cat adoption areas.  im too much of a 'weirdo' for the bigots to have in their normal shelter.

so this is where ive been quarantined off to; so i can work by myself.

?

and then the stores themselves will not hire me come hell or high water even though i was a key holder at village pet foods in gay village in toronto for years.

?

so i go in to clean today with all this shit in the face and the throat choking you

i go for the animals; exclusively the rest of them can kiss my ass frankly

if what they thought of me mattered id care

but it is sour grapes trust me; i look at these idiots in plain english they deem worthy of hire?

and they are like 19 yrs old and cavalier; their work quality is totally unacceptable fucking with his cell phone the entire time he is working, and dicking around fucking the dog half assed quality of work

he was stocking over sized dog beds and he has this thing gets off on staring at me and thinking himself superior to me every time i volunteer he lingers around where i am making me feel uncomfortable; an unoriginal bone fida bully like windsor typical.

he drops dog toys on the floor and wads up the cover plastic and throws it on the ground.  doesnt pick any of it up after putting the beds out looking at me and his phone non stop. is he related to the owner? it is like the more half assed shitty work you do the more you are given place in this ass backwards ass town.

He leaves the toys and the plastic on the floor and walks away; and then the store opens; how is that not a liability?

outrageous.

THAT is hireable. and me? i am not.

bull to the mother fuckn shit. in plain english

i am impeccable with my work; no one works harder than me.

i am diligent and impeccable; but im not worthy of being given contact info the welcome to volunteer at the regular shelter less my crazy girl cooties wear off on someone, nor am i deserving of doing a half assed job in a pet store and getting paid for it like the rest of the under educated lazy asses who do.

so ya i was pretty much exhausted by ten oclock this morning.

i didnt do much i rested today

i did a new workout too yesterday i havent done in a while

and my body was screaming lemme tell ya

shaking my head.

that coupled with the disappointment of her refusing me the subsidy? my head and heart and spirit were hurting me too

trying to brainstorm ideas of how to make some money on my own

consistency is the hardest thing for me. in way of employment performance.

soooo

the only good thing was one of the cats i cleaned for was a real sweetheart.

born two months ago so after ezzy died; maybe ezzy reincarnated??

purred and purred and purred when i held her.

anyways im tanked. so frustrated. going to bed.

tomorrow is a new day

we assume.

gnite. :(

and if the cicb would give me what i need, i could go where i want and take care of my damn self. without the risk of it not being sustainable which is what limits me now.

the amount i have in reserve might not be enough to cover the increased cost of living and as it goes up as i get older too etc

ugh

if trump wins ill die too.

people are even more stupid than i thought.

gnite.

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